Monday, July 8, 2013

Ambassadors For Marriage: Leah and Landon

Today, I'm continuing my Ambassadors for Marriage series with another fantastic guest post (you can read the first guest post in this series here). I found Leah's blog when I first started blogging, months ago, and I admire very much her honest, faith-driven, and inspiring way of writing about her marriage and her little family. She's a loyal reader of Something Ivory, too, and I'm thrilled she's here today to share her story! I think you'll enjoy it very much. 



Describe how you met your husband and how you felt as you got to know him.
The first time I ever met Landon was when we were both 17 and my dad was interviewing to be the pastor at the church Landon's family attended. Both our families were at a small dinner party to get to know people from the church, and he obviously didn't want to be there. :) I remember seeing this hoodie-wearing boy slumped against the wall, and not really noticing him beyond that. Fast forward a year or so, and you would find two young teens in youth group together flirting, writing notes to each other, and hanging out a lot. I realized as I got to know Landon more, that I was becoming more drawn to him, and every time I saw him I would get butterflies in my stomach.

When did you know he was the one you wanted to marry?
When we were getting very serious about each other, I remember a situation, I think it was the summer before I left for college. Something outside our relationship upset me terribly, and I went over to his house and basically ran into his arms sobbing. He immediately took me by the waist and walked me out to the woods where he just held me and told me things would be ok. I think that may have been when I realized this was the man I wanted to share my hurts and fears with, the one who I could trust, and the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

What has been the most rewarding part of your marriage so far?
A few months ago, Landon and I decided to pursue marriage counseling. Some friends of ours had done it, and it was encouraging to hear their story. On top of having a baby who changed the dynamics of our relationship, we had some communication issues that were wearing down on our marriage and we wanted to take care of things before years went by. Honestly, these last few months have been the hardest yet most rewarding season of our marriage so far. We have grown incredibly closer, we talk more intentionally than ever, and we value our relationship so much more than before. I never realized how much I could love this man. Marriage takes work, but the work produces beautiful results.

What have you learned about your husband that you didn't know before you got married?
I had always figured Landon would be a good dad, but I have been blown away with how amazing of a father he is to Finn. Nothing has put him off...the diapers, the sleepless nights, the birth. He readily steps up and helps me with Finn and he is so loving and tender. I love watching them interact.

Has anything about marriage surprised you?
So far, nothing has really surprised me. Is that bad? :) I will say that we have to be very intentional about our relationship and continue to pursue each other. I think it's easy to settle into a routine way of doing things, so we try to mix things up every now and then. Little change-ups can make a huge difference for us.

How would you describe "the ideal wife," the one you strive always to become?
Marriage is made up of unique people, and every marriage is different. Specifically in our marriage, we don't have defined roles based on gender or cultural influences. We are an equal team making decisions together and seeking to put each other's needs above our own. With that in mind, my aim as Landon's wife is to put God at the center of our relationship, to love Landon unconditionally, to help him selflessly, to lead him in the areas I am more qualified to lead, to follow him in the areas where he is more qualified to lead, to trust him enough to share my dreams and fears, to be vulnerable and open, to lift him up in prayer, to play with him and enjoy life together, to forgive him readily, and to encourage him daily.

How do you face challenges in marriage? What are your strategies for overcoming the inevitable hard moments or hard days?
More recently, we have learned to just communicate more. It seems backwards (and it's so hard) for two introverts to talk struggles out, but that is what we are learning is the best choice. Landon has learned to give me a moment to cool off when I am mad, but then comes and asks me to talk it out. I am learning to take a moment to cool off before saying something in anger, and then making myself talk out my frustrations to Landon instead of sweeping things under the rug. Even when Landon is at work and I am home, I will send Landon a text saying "I am so frustrated!" And he will say "I'm sorry babe, lets sit down tonight and talk about it, I want to hear about it." Also, we aim to be completely honest with each other, and doing that helps us avoid a lot of conflicts.

Have you started any family traditions as a couple?
We dabbled around the first year or two of marriage trying to force some to happen I think. I love traditions, but I want them to happen organically. So far, we only have a few consistent traditions.  We usually get a Christmas tree that is four feet high or less.  We have our own Christmas family dinner a few days before the 25th since we are always home at for the holidays. We have "our song," Northern Lights, by the Bowerbirds, and we frequent a local coffeehouse, The Hearthstone, each week together.



Thank you so much, Leah, for sharing your heart with us today! 

For more of Leah's thoughts, pay a visit to her blog, The Rife Observatory.








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12 comments:

  1. Katie @ Loverly SheJuly 8, 2013 at 9:33 AM

    Love this series, Kate! It's so good to hear the stories of others who are navigating their way through the same highs and lows that a lot of couples experience. Thanks for sharing!

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  2. This is a beautiful idea! I'm so sad that marriage is something that requires an ambassador these days, but it is wonderful to connect with other people are committed to their spouses entirely. Love it :)

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  3. Really appreciate this marriage series! I have loved following Leah's blog for a few years now and really appreciate her perspective! Thanks for sharing this, Kate!

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  4. Thank you for letting me share our story, Kate! Loved being a part of this!

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  5. So happy to get this feedback! Isn't it really refreshing to read such honesty about another couple and their marriage?

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  6. Thanks Hannah, I know, marriage just isn't as valued in our day and age as it used to be, and it's so important for those of us who are happily married to share our stories!

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  7. So glad you enjoyed this, Stacey! Isn't Leah's blog so sweet? Thanks for stopping by :)

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  8. What a powerful series and interview! A great testimony to how putting God and each other first can create a strong base for a loving marriage. Thank you for sharing this!

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  9. So nice of you to stop by, Anna! I'm really glad you enjoyed this. And what you said is so true! I just love showcasing these inspiring people and their beautiful marriages. (And really love the similar series of guest posts you've been having on motherhood :))

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  10. I'm loving this series! I'm learning so many new things from these women and their relationships. I especially like how she says "Marriage takes work, but the work produces beautiful results." and then "we have to be very intentional about our relationship." It's always confusing when girls say that it's so easy to be with their boyfriends/husbands - I mean, it is in a way, I guess, but from what Leah says I don't think I'm alone in being challenged by my partner! He makes me be better every day, and that's hard work! You have to commit over and over again to be in a partnership, and that can't be half-assed. I really respect Leah and Landon for being open about marriage counseling - it doesn't mean anything is wrong, but that you're investing in the relationship and being really self-aware about everything that has to go into it. What a great example these two are!

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  11. So glad you're enjoying the series--I LOVE having these inspiring marriages grace the pages of Something Ivory :) I agree that Leah's openness about marriage counseling was really refreshing. Recently someone told me he'd never fought with his wife (they had been married 50 years!) and that really confused me. Fighting, per se, isn't exactly the word I would use but I think arguments and disagreements are bound to happen in healthy relationships, don't you think?

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