A Chat About Marriage

I've been thinking about one particular aspect of marriage for the past few days, trying to sort it out in my mind. Maybe you can help.

The one person who sees you at your very worst is the same person who loves you more than anyone else in the world.

How does that work?!

But it's true, isn't it? My husband sees me at my worst. I don't just mean first thing in the morning, sans makeup, or when my cheeks were the size of balloons after getting my wisdom teeth out (I wouldn't have blamed him if he'd run away from me screaming, it was that horrible). I mean that he sees my faults, my flaws, the weaknesses and gaps in my character that make me human and vulnerable. He sees me when I'm petty, when I'm feeling sorry for myself, when I'm afraid. He sees it all. Yet he loves me completely and fully and with grace and humor and forgiveness.

Sounds an awful lot like the kind of love that comes down from the heavens, does it not?

I believe that's what marriage is and I think it's why it works. Ultimately, we are meant to love our spouses as God loves us. Of course we can never match His love. But it is when we strive for godliness in our marriages, when we serve and put away selfishness and offer up our hearts and forgive over and over, that's when marriage is ultimately fulfilling and good.

I read a bunch of books on marriage when I was engaged and the main thing I gleaned from my reading and studying was that I wanted to be a godly wife. The kind of wife who has the strength to surrender her ego for the good of her family. The kind of wife who never embarrasses her husband in front of others. The kind of wife who doesn't dominate or control or demand, but is respectful and sincere and calm and graceful. The kind of wife who accepts her husband and forgives his faults and prays for him continuously, who gives of herself generously. A strong, loving, beautiful wife.

Ok, typing that makes me realize I still have a lot of work to do. I'm sure I'll always have work to do. But to me, this is the path to loving my husband the best I possibly can. And I believe it's the path to a true and good and wholesome and intensely rewarding marriage.

(Taking silly photos together never hurts, either.)