Monday, May 6, 2013

A Hard Question

The prompt for Day 6 of Blog Every Day in May is this: If you couldn't answer with your job, how would you answer the question, "What do you do?" I'm taking sort of a loose interpretation of this and talking in general about the question, "What do you do?"




Since graduating from my Masters program, the question, "What do you do?" always catches me a little bit off guard. I usually answer, "Well, I'm a classical pianist and I'm a serious writer, and I teach piano too." One time, a hairstylist actually asked me (before asking me anything else) "Where do you work?" Where, as in, where do you go every day to make a living? Just saying "home" didn't seem adequate based on the phrasing of her question, so I stuttered a little and said, "Oh, I work out of my home, I'm a pianist and a writer." It was so much easier before when I could just say that I was in grad school.

So you see, I don't have an easy response lined up for this question. I can't say "I'm an architect," or "I work in finance," or "I work at the hospital." I could say, "I'm a piano teacher," but that's only one part of me, and I don't even feel like I've fully deserved that title yet. To further complicate things, I've only begun to scratch the surface of what I hope to eventually do with music, and with writing. What I do now doesn't fully describe me, and what I hope for.

The way I see it is that I'm in the very early stages of carving out a life for myself that includes my music and my writing and leaves the most room for what matters most. I've thought long and carefully about my future, and I feel so blessed and thankful for my passions, thankful that medicine, or finance, or law were not my calling in life. I've been given a gift, that my interests don't require me to be away from home all day, because an office or hospital or courtroom job could never win against raising my children day in and day out (in my book). I feel intensely lucky that I will be able to continue to play and teach and write while staying home and being a mom, the most important job I'll ever have.

It's difficult for me to answer the question about what I do because I haven't yet become the pianist and the teacher I want to be, I haven't yet become the writer I want to be, and I haven't yet had children. Today, I don't feel like I have the right words for that question, "What do you do?"

But I am a wife, I am preparing for motherhood. I am a pianist, this is my craft. I am a writer, whether or not I'm paid, or publishing regularly in places other than my blog. I am a teacher, my students are learning, I am passing on knowledge and skill and beauty. What I am right now will lead to who I am tomorrow. I will continue to work on carving out the life I want and remember that sculptures don't take shape in a day.




21 comments:

  1. I've been reading your blog for a while now, Kate, ever since I read your article for Mercatornet and I am so glad you wrote about this today. I just wanted to let you know that although single, I can still relate to a lot of what you said about becoming that person you want yourself to be. It just seems as if that part about motherhood is a little out of my hands right now, although that part about being a musician is. It doesn't really matter who you are I think, we are all in progress.

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  2. I enjoyed your post. I felt a twinge of regret as I read the words "classical pianist" because from the time I was eight and began taking lessons, I thought that's what I wanted to be. Life happened differently, and I think I've been letting that change in life define me. Your post, as well as this challenge, is a good reminder that we aren't defined by a title or one specific avenue, but who we are even in the small minutes of our lives. Love it!

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  3. Thanks so much for being a loyal reader, Mikhai. I think you're right, we are all works in progress. And there is much more that defines us than just our "job."

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  4. Thanks for this comment, Kelsea. Sticking with piano wasn't ever an easy choice for me, either. It's not the simplest path to go down. I hope that you still play, and let that soothe your "twinge of regret." Because even if you're not making a living at it, you can always play and have music in your life and in your soul. :)

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  5. You look like a ballerina, so pretty. ;-)

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  6. I love that you know you are on a path to becoming the person you want to be. How wonderful that you will be can still be able to be a mom and take part in your passions of music and writing.

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  7. Oh, you're sweet, thanks Rachel :) I've been asked enough times if I do ballet that it makes me think I should have stuck with it as a little girl!

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  8. I feel blessed! One step at a time, right? :)

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  9. I took that photo : )

    And she looks more like a princess if you ask me.

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  10. I love that shot of you. We'll be moms and make the "work" thing work around the most important job we'll ever know. I love this post. I like how you say you are preparing for what's to come. I think that explains where I am a lot, too. :)

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  11. Haha! Quitting ballet is the biggest regret I ever had. My mom was a dancer and I inherited her perfect feet. But I was too much of a tomboy as a kid to stick with it. Even today people comment on how I have perfect ballet feet and I'm like, well, whoops. Maybe we both can try it out again!

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  12. Thanks Tina, I really love that we share this passion for future motherhood. We will get there, as you say :)

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  13. How fun would it be to pick up ballet again as an adult?!! That would be amazing. Maybe if we ever live in the same area we can take a class together!

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  14. you are so elegant! and, echoing Tina, I love the sentiment behind "what I am right now will lead to who I am tomorrow." it make me happy, actually, and satisfied in what I'm doing now even if it's not what I want to be doing in 10 years because who I am in 10 years will be because of what I'm doing now. you know?

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  15. p.s. I think you should know that I'm really good at playing the piano with my right hand. but even after a decade of being classically trained as a singer (including years of music theory!) it still takes me a minute to figure out what's going on in the bass clef. SOPRANOS DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT ALL THAT STUFF DOWN THERE.

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  16. Thanks Betsy! Yes, I think that we are works in progress and it's important to remember that. I mean, we're still so young, with so much ahead of us!

    I have lots of singer friends and you're not alone in your RH piano skills :) Hey, it's great that you can play with one hand and can find your way around the keyboard! More than I can say about singing (I can sing in tune but that's about it!).

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  17. And you found your love story. That's every little girls dream. Sigh.

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  18. I just clicked a link at random from Story of My Life, and found your site. I'm so excited to find how much we have in common! I'm finishing my last year as a music therapy undergrad, I'm a young wife, a word-lover, and a serious Christian as well. I look forward to following you :)


    www.readyornotbyhannahscott.com

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  19. Hi Hannah! I'm so happy you found me! How funny that you clicked randomly, and it turns out we have so many shared interests. I'm going to check out your blog now :)

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  20. This is always a loaded question when you don't "go in" somewhere to work.


    I'm a mom, a writer and a teacher.


    I stay home with my kids, I homeschool them, I keep the house and I write.


    Somehow people don't always consider that "work".

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