Day 16 of Blog Every Day in May: Something difficult about your "lot in life" and how you're working to overcome it.
Photo taken in 2009 by my friend Jules for my then-boyfriend, now-husband.
Sometimes, the only thing that's within your control is your attitude. I'm trying to remember how powerful that is.
I've been incredibly blessed with the "lot" I've been given in life. I was born into a wonderful, loving, Christian family, I went to a great college and graduate school, I have an amazing husband who loves me more than I deserve. I could go on and on.
But over the last year I've been tested. When I married my husband I became an Army wife, just like that, and being an Army wife, an Army family, means that "our lives are not our own," as I like to say. That's the best way I know to explain it, especially to people who don't exactly understand why we're still living in Alabama, why we can't leave. Because our lives right now are not our own. And I don't mean this in a negative way (ok, sometimes I like to vent and complain that my life is not my own), but it really is an accurate portrayal of military life. The official papers my husband receives every few months from the Army that describe where he needs to be and how long he needs to be there are called his "orders," and orders they are. Many, many things are out of our control at the moment.
But I don't really consider this to be our "lot in life" because that implies that we had no say, that things just happened to us. It's true that we're in unusual circumstances and that things haven't gone according to our plans, or even the Army's plans. There have been some twists and turns, and sometimes I do still get upset about that one particular "lot" we were thrown, the one that injured my husband's back and changed his life. But even that is just part of living. Dwelling on our lack of control, dwelling on unfortunate accidents, dwelling on what we can't have is no way to live.
Sometimes, the only thing that's within your control is your attitude. I'm not always good at remembering this and putting it into practice--my husband, on the other hand, is a master at it. But I've found that when I consciously look for the good in each day, when I thank God for all that we have, when I delight in one small thing that our little town does have to offer, life is easier.