One of the big cultural differences I've noticed between the deep South and the rest of the places I've lived is the level of politeness that exists here. Contrary to the popular stereotypes, it's not that people here are so much nicer--I wouldn't necessarily say it's that drastic a difference--but there is a certain level of respect that passes between strangers that I didn't encounter much when I lived "up North."
For example, I can't tell you how many times I've been called "ma'am." When I was thrift-shopping the other day, the shop owner's daughter (she was probably about 11) was sitting in a chair doing homework, and I said hello and asked her a question, and she didn't hear me at first so she smiled sweetly and said, "Ma'am?" It was so cute. I always feel like I'm too young to be referred to that way, but for Southern children it's the normal way to speak to any grown-up.
I was also surprised when one of my piano students (she is 15) started calling me "Mrs. Kate." Isn't that so endearing? It's actually sort of a perfect solution because I feel too young to go by "Mrs. Harvey" (especially to someone who is only ten years younger than myself--if I'm teaching 6-year-olds, that's a different story) but just "Kate" seems a little casual for a student-teacher relationship. When she first called me "Mrs. Kate" I thought it was so funny and sweet and unusual. Children and young adults are really hesitant to call you by your first name, even if that's how you introduce yourself, so adding a "Miss" or "Mrs" in front of your name is their way of showing respect.
Do any of you have experience with Southern politeness and charm? I'm wondering if this is something I will miss when we move away from here!
There is a HUGE difference in the manners here in SW Virginia than when we get to DC and Maryland. I was in Kroger the other day and a college student asked me a questions, referring to me as Ma'am. Also...I've always called someone older Mr. Or Mrs (and their last name) and we've taught our boys the same.
ReplyDeleteThis reminds me of Bringing Up Bebe.... in which, upon reading, I looked up at Alex and I said "We are SO having FOUR magic words... please, thank you, hello and goodbye." Politeness takes you ANYWHERE. I'm known for saying thank you allllll the time (it's crazy at restaurants) but people need to be more courteous! So true.
ReplyDeleteThat is the best print on the face of the earth!!
ReplyDeleteThat's so interesting that even just a few states away, you notice a difference! I was raised with the "Mr or Mrs." too. I definitely think it's important. (It's just funny to be called Mrs. at age 25!).
ReplyDeleteYes! I loved that too. Especially the "hello." Children definitely should learn to greet people from an early age! So important.
ReplyDeleteIsn't it cute? :)
ReplyDeleteI'm often complimented by friends, family, strangers at the politeness of my daughter. Her behavior stands out because I don't think it is taught here like it is in the South. I was always painfully shy and did not naturally have the skills (my parents instilled in me the basics). It was very important to me to teach Grace how to be polite and confident with the people she meets. Hopefully it will stick and she will develop her own graciousness.
ReplyDeleteThat's so great, and what a sweet name you gave your daughter. I love that word you used, that you want her to develop "graciousness." I really want that for our children too. Manners are such an important part of that. "Ma'am" still feels pretty formal to me, but I'm sure we'll find our own ways to teach our children how to be respectful and gracious.
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