On Traveling With Friends

I think most people would agree that traveling with friends is risky. We went to Japan with another married couple and we joked on the trip that we'd either love each other even more or hate each other by the end of it!

But with these friends there was never any question in my mind which way it would go. If you are lucky enough to find friends who are as delightfully laid back, curious and interested, positive even in a crisis, fun-loving and goofy, un-picky about food and uncomplaining in general, and excited by life as these friends are then I can wholeheartedly recommend going on vacation with them. Seriously. We had the time of our lives, the four of us.

There are so many cool perks to traveling with friends and particularly another married couple. First of all it's just plain fun. Of course I love traveling with my husband and family but there was something about traveling with good friends that made us giddy. It felt extraordinary to be sharing these otherworldly experiences with each other! They also live in Charlottesville so we did plenty of getting together to plan and chat about the trip which amplified the excitement and anticipation.

It was also really wonderful to sometimes pair off for girls things while the guys paired off for guys things. One afternoon us girls went to an onsen where we soaked in hot baths in the nude, along with some other Japanese ladies, for three hours! It was an amazing, culturally beautiful experience and it was so nice to have a girlfriend to do it with. (I loved this recent, related post on this general subject.)

It was neat how we all settled into roles. We four worked so well together and had the right mix of personalities. I was the one who always had a water bottle to pass around. Jim figured out all the subway routes which I appreciated even more after I struck out on my own one day and had to navigate the complicated Tokyo subway system by myself. My husband was good with directions on the ground and keeping us all laughing. Val had the camera and enough enthusiasm to fill three people.

One day we completely miscalculated how long it would take to get to the airport and had to take a $200 cab ride so we didn't miss our flight to Kyoto. And then after our flight we sat on a train for 2 hours just to get to our hotel. It could have been a miserable day but it wasn't, not even a little bit. We made the most of it (in part by buying some wine and beer and sipping it on the train! not illegal in Japan!) as we traded stories and laughed about the super yucky rice ball flavor we picked up at 711.

I think it's safe to say we solidified our friendship with these two for life. We definitely want to travel with them again though we're unsure how we could possibly top Japan. As my sister-in-law recently wrote me in an email, sharing memories makes them live longer. Jim and Val, we think the world of you guys!

 

Inspired By Japan!

Hi, friends! I've been excited to share bits and pieces of our trip to Japan with you but it's hard to know where to begin. (I've also been fighting the jet lag demons ever since we got home. Ugh!) This trip has left my eyes wide open and my heart expanded and so much of me is inspired by what we saw, learned, witnessed, noticed, absorbed. Here are some of my favorites.

The natural respect

There is an amazing culture of respect in Japan that seems to permeate all relationships. Family relationships, friend to friend, shopkeeper to customer. Everybody bows hello, thank you, goodbye. Even two young friends parting ways in the subway after a night out will give a little bow to each other as they say goodnight. We found it to be so sweet and dignified. All of us loved this tradition.

The design
Oh, Japanese design. It's lovely. It's simple. It's infused into the most everyday facts of life. Everywhere we went I noticed this careful, thoughtful focus on beauty and aesthetics. Spaces were uncluttered, walls were white, little details never went by the wayside. In our hotel room in Kyoto the hair dryer was stored in a cream-colored linen bag with the word "DRYER" hand-stamped on the edge in inky block letters. The tiniest, most subtle thing. At our gate in the Osaka airport, there were rows and rows of kelly green seats with light-colored wooden frames and the notes of a piano trio murmured over the sound system. A garage door near our Airbnb in Tokyo was made of wood, not vinyl, and I never knew a garage door could be so gorgeous. These things are heart-swelling for someone like me. I'm so inspired by this intentional creation of loveliness, by the elevation of the mundane, by the attention to simple beauties.

The cleanliness and general treatment of public property
Japan is a clean place. On the streets, in public restrooms, in the backs of taxi cabs, in the subways. All clean! It was marvelous. We realized partway through the trip that this has less to do with fastidious janitors or a well-paid city cleaning staff and more to do with maintenance by regular people and a respect for what is shared. The tip-top bathrooms were obviously most noticeable to us. People don't trash public restrooms in Japan. If anything, they will leave a bathroom stall cleaner than it was when they walked in. Some bathrooms even had wall-mounted cleaning spray for the seat. Brilliant!

The onsen culture
This was a girls activity that my friend and I did together while the boys headed back to the hotel. An onsen is a Japanese spa where women and men go (separately, usually) to bathe. There were two hot indoor pools, one hot outdoor pool that was dyed red for some reason and one cold pool (which was a godsend). All done in the nude! This part took a little getting-used-to but I think we both found the atmosphere to be quite liberating. There's nothing showy about it and there's also nothing fearful. Body image does not have a place in the onsen. You are there to nourish your body, physically and spiritually, not to criticize it or flaunt it or feel ashamed of it. You soak, pamper, relax, treat. It's like a little thank-you to your body for working so hard. It was neat to get over our natural modesty for a moment and remember that bodies are just bodies. They're functional and biological and they're beautiful no matter what precisely they look like. The Japanese women barely gave us a glance and absolutely none of them (and many of them were quite a bit older than us) were self-conscious about walking around with nothing to hide behind. Really inspiring.

...and SO much more. I loved Japan. I adored it. I didn't want to leave and I definitely want to someday go back.

Of course, having the best travel buddies in the world didn't hurt. Post on that to come!

Insta-Travel

Hi everyone! Just a quick post to tell you that if you're curious and interested, the best place to follow along on our trip to Tokyo and Kyoto, Japan will be my Instagram account. If we're not already Instagram friends, let's change that! I promise that my photos over the next ten days will be positively otherworldly. ;)

See you again when we get back! xo

Packing For Japan: Fun (And Tiny) Travel Essentials

In an effort to continue my mission to pack leanly for this trip I'm not bringing many things that are not clothes. And the non-clothing items I am allowing myself have to be sufficiently small and light for me to put them on the list.

Over the last few weeks I've been hunting down mini versions of certain beauty products on Amazon and filling little 3 oz bottles with face wash and sunscreen. I finally caved and bought a Kindle in the smallest size instead of lugging along 2-3 books for the plane and I'm obsessed with it (so glad my mom encouraged me on that one). My mother-in-law gave me a gorgeous clutch as an early birthday gift that will be perfect for carrying just a few things to dinner or a night out. Basically everything I'm bringing is tiny. It's adorable.

Here are a few of the non-clothes/non-shoes travel essentials that to me, are worth toting halfway across the world.

My favorite rosy red lipstick that can dress up any outfit and make me feel beautiful and fresh and put-together with a single swipe.

A shot of Dream Water, recommended by a friend who always looks out for me, to help us catch a few hours of sleep as we fly from Toronto to Tokyo.

A tiny pot of the best intensive moisturizer, which I will be slathering on my face before each flight to combat dry airplane air.

Evian facial spray for more moisture for my finicky skin and the welcome jolt of energy that comes from spraying a jet-lagged face with a mist of cool water.

A small tube of the only hand sanitizer I'll use because unlike most, it's moisturizing and doesn't have a horrible alcohol or synthetic smell.

My new Kindle, loaded with a few good books I can't wait to dig into along with a Dictionary of Japanese Food to help us navigate the eating part of our adventure.

(Not pictured: a regular toothbrush instead of my bulky electric one. I'm serious about this minimalist thing!)

9 days to go!!!!!

Packing For Japan: Shoes And One Pretty Accessory

As I said in my last post I'm bringing only two pairs of shoes for our 9-day trip. This is not a large number of shoes, am I right ladies? So I had to make sure they were both super comfortable and as versatile as possible.

Obviously I needed a pair of lace-up sneakers for all the walking we'll be doing. These Born shoes are a few years old and I got them when I was on the hunt for shoes for Europe (back when we thought that's where we would be honeymooning). It's getting easier to find sneaks that are cute and can be worn with dresses and skirts in addition to jeans (love these from Everlane) but it's still a tall order. I love the "oxford" style of these which gives them a menswear-inspired look but the fact that they're light-colored keeps them feminine and pretty. Plus the arch support and padded soles means I can wear them all day. (I bought soft no-show socks to wear with them.)

(Here's a photo from my Instagram of me wearing them, and also the olive pants I'm packing.)

For lighter walking days, evenings when we are getting a bit more dressed up, and for temple-hopping which will require us to be constantly slipping our shoes on and off, I have these Franco Sarto leather flats. You know how some ballet flats barely cover the top of your foot at all, just your toes? I love these shoes because they come up a bit higher on the foot which makes them ten times more comfortable. I also popped these on the inside heel and now they feel just like slippers. 

In Japan there's a lot of taking off of shoes that happens, and not just in the temples. Apparently a lot of restaurants require it too and bare feet are a no-no. (A friend of mine warned me of this—thanks M!) So I plan to keep a pair of socks in my purse at all times so that I'll never be caught barefooted. Phew! Potential cultural crisis and general awkwardness averted.

I don't plan to bring any jewelry except for my wedding rings and the gold studs I always wear, so I'm counting on this scarf to lend me a little flair when I need it. It can be wrapped around my shoulders if I'm chilly or tied around my neck and it looks good with everything I'm bringing. Japan is a country of vibrant colors and I figured I needed something bright and floral to complement my neutrals. This will do the trick!

I'm almost done with these packing posts. I hope they've been fun/informative/helpful or that at the very least they've indulged your nosy side. (I love seeing how people pack for trips!) I've got one or two more posts planned, so stay tuned and thanks for reading.

Packing For Japan: Tops

This weekend I spent a few hours in the bedroom prancing around and trying things on and finalizing the list of things I'm bringing to Japan--and guess what? I'm packing only TEN pieces of clothing! For a ten day trip! Ask me if I'm proud of myself. (Enormously.)

I wrote last week about my plan to come up with a basic, neutral, mix-and-match-able wardrobe for this trip. Once I decided on that it was surprisingly easy to come up with the actual pieces I'd bring. Here are the tops I picked.

A simple, comfortable drapey black tank. This French Connection top goes with everything and can be dressy or casual. It's also super lightweight and breathable which is a must for the warm, humid weather we're expecting.

The three tees I'm bringing are all loose and flowy, which is my favorite and the most comfortable for travel, especially in hot temperatures. This Banana Republic striped tunic top is so soft and the cut is flattering and elegant which dresses up the fact that it's a t-shirt.

Of course I'm bringing my favorite Everlane Ryan tees in charcoal grey and white. These look so weird on the hanger but I can assure you they're very cute when you put them on. They're comfy and go with everything and can be dressed up when you tuck them into something pretty and high-waisted (hint hint) or tie a scarf around your neck.

This is the one pair of long sleeves I'm bringing. This sweater is cozy and a little boxy in a chic way and is loose enough that it can be thrown on over anything. I imagine I'll need this for flights and in the evenings if it cools down. I'm a little worried about the cream color being susceptible to stains but a black sweater just feels so wintery and formal.

And that's it for tops! 4 tees/tanks and one sweater. I may cheat a bit and wear my men's flannel button-down for the long 30 hours or so we'll be traveling before landing in Tokyo--I'm just thinking that whatever I wear for that initial travel I probably won't want to wear again, and all of these things need to be worn at least twice. So we'll see.

Next up are pants and shorts. I hope this is interesting/fun for you guys too? I'm just so excited about planning a travel wardrobe and packing lightly and efficiently. Thanks for humoring me as I share and count down the days until we go! One month from tomorrow!

Packing For Japan: The Plan

I started thinking about packing for Japan just after booking our tickets and checking our safe to make sure our passports were still where I thought they were. With that important business out of the way my mind turned to more exciting things. How many Japanese words can I learn before May 21? What activities will we plan and which ones will we daringly improvise as we go? And of course, what should I wear that will make me both comfortable and cute?

Packing intentionally for big trips--i.e. packing lightly--has never been a strength of mine but I'm determined to turn over a new leaf. Partly because we are traveling internationally and hopping between two cities and I want to be mobile and not bogged down with stuff. Partly because the friends we're traveling with are super low-key and the opposite of high maintenance, and I'll be darned if I slow down the group because I was the pathetic one who over-packed. Partly because it seems like a fun challenge. Partly because I need room to bring home at least one kimono.

I've slowly been coming up with a plan. The first challenge is to mostly bring clothes and shoes I already have and buy only a few select things in preparation. The second challenge is figuring out the vessels I will use to transport everything and use daily while we're there. And overall my goal is to bring a small amount of carefully selected neutral basics, which can be mixed and matched and re-worn in different ways and sneakily modified depending on our circumstances. Comfort is high on my list of requirements for each piece of clothing, but I also want to look nice and put together and be able to dress up any of the outfits I bring.

In essence I'm creating a wardrobe for this trip--one that is simple, flexible, stylish, comfortable, and very much me--and I'm having a terrific time with it.

Stay tuned for more soon!

We're Going To Japan!

In May! On Vacation! With friends!

I'm probably most excited about that last bit. Traveling to Tokyo and Kyoto and breathing in an entirely different cultural world will be incredible. But I think the company will make it the trip of a lifetime. 

We're going to Japan with another couple, good friends of ours here in Charlottesville. My husband and I both went to college with the husband half of this couple and his sweet wife we've gotten to know over the past year since they've been married. They were originally planning this trip for just the two of them and on a whim, we were invited. (I wasn't there when it happened. It's possible my husband invited us.) In any case, all four of us are thrilled and excited and giddy to be taking on this adventure together. I think we'll make great travel buddies.

I don't know much about Japan--except that they turn out incredibly disciplined classical pianists by the fistful--so I've been looking things up left and right. I downloaded a "Learn Japanese" app and while so far I have only "yes" and "no" under my belt, my goal is to memorize at least a few words a week before the trip. (This week I want to master "breakfast," "lunch," and "dinner," which all sound remarkably alike.) Eventually I'll make my way to guidebooks but I've heard such good things about this book that I decided to snatch it up at Barnes and Noble this weekend. I'm really fascinated by the Japanese standard of cleanliness and order. And it goes without saying that I can't wait to eat in Japan. I think I might need to get a book describing all of the different foods so we know what to order and what not to miss out on.

My husband and I have never gone on a trip like this before and it feels equal parts reckless and exhilarating. The fact that we feel a little reckless just makes us even more giddy and excited. Sometimes you have to take a leap of faith and do something that feels a little out there, indulgent even, but that you know will bring you priceless memories and experiences you won't ever forget.