Our Golden Hour Dinner Party

All the way back in June I decided that one of the things I wanted to do this summer was plan and host a pop-up dinner party. Before that day I didn't even know what a pop-up dinner party was but when I read this post I thought, "You know, I could totally do that!" A few minutes later as I scrolled to the end of the post I thought, "I'm definitely doing that!" and started looking at dates on my calendar.

So many things about this concept–hosting a semi-surprise, fancy dinner party outside with friends–resonated with me. What could be better than eating al fresco, for one? We live in a gorgeous part of the country and I was pretty sure we could find a breathtaking venue. I loved the idea of being in nature but using linen tablecloths and real forks and plates and glasses and cloth napkins. The challenge of coming up with a menu and cooking everything myself excited me. And of course, the most fun part was making everything as beautiful and magical as possible and getting to share that with the people I love. (I just hoped I could pull it off!)

We have such a lovely collection of friends here in Charlottesville. We had four couples at the party, plus us and my baby brother (who took all the photos and was incredibly fun and helpful all day long–couldn't have done it without him). In Oh Happy Day style I sent out this slightly cryptic invitation on Paperless Post a few weeks in advance.

I thought that keeping things sort of secretive would add to the magic of the party. The venue we decided on was a quiet public park with a lake and pretty mountain views. We set up the tables in the shade under a collection of old trees near the small lake. The morning of, we emailed directions that my husband had written out old-school style and told everyone that once they arrived, to look for white tablecloths under some nearby trees.

I spent all day cooking. My brother and husband were a huge help with this. I made only things that would be delicious at room temperature and I wanted everything to be fresh and seasonal and look colorful and beautiful on the table. We had poached salmon with a dijon sauce, brown rice with chives, local tomatoes with olive oil and feta, sliced peaches and blueberries, kale and cabbage salad with a balsamic dressing, baguettes with salted butter, and for dessert, lemon pound cake and raspberries. And rosé, because it's so darn pretty.

As we approached 5ish we loaded up both of our cars with all of the supplies. Two 6-foot folding tables, 11 chairs from around the house, a huge tub of tablecloths/dishes/silverware/serving utensils/glasses, the cooler of wine and sparkling water, a metal bucket with candles/bottle opener/twine/lighter/scissors, two vases of wildflowers, and finally the platters of food wrapped tightly in saran wrap. We stopped on the way for ice. 

One thing that was so incredible: as my husband and brother and I set up it was very hot, humid and buggy. This was around 6-6:30ish. We lit tons of citronella candles and sprayed our legs with bug spray and hoped the heat would subside. As we approached 7, which is when we had told our guests to arrive, the sun crept behind the mountain and it became instantly cooler and perfectly crisp and comfortable and the bugs all but disappeared. It was such a welcome relief and I was really able to relax once this happened!

My brother is an excellent photographer and he snapped most of these in the few minutes we had between taking off the saran wrap from the food and when our guests arrived. The light was golden and exquisite and I think he really captured the magic of the evening.

Our friends were so sweet and excited and I think they all loved the surprise element. They didn't quite know what to expect and I think it's safe to say they were amazed when they arrived. It was a marvelous, enchanting evening and I'm so glad we did it.

The More Loving One

I've been slowly making my way through the most fascinating book called Daily Rituals: How Artists Work. Have you heard of it? The author chose 161 inspired and inspiring people from human history–writers, scientists, composers, poets, inventors–and did meticulous research on the habits that surrounded their work and gave structure (or lack of structure) to their days. Interesting, right?

As you might expect these creatively brilliant people were mostly quite odd, and many of them followed their routines with a manic sort of discipline. The Danish philosopher Kierkegaard would fill his coffee cup to the brim with sugar, pour acid-strong coffee over it and drink it in one energetic gulp. Thomas Wolfe wrote his novels naked, standing up, using the top of his fridge as his desk. Gustav Mahler dragged his wife Alma on 3-or-4-hour walks every afternoon, often stopping to compose for an hour or two at a time while he insisted she wait for him. Gertrude Stein usually wrote no more than 30 minutes a day and often got her creativity flowing by staring at individual cows and rocks (!) in the French countryside.

Along the way I've been doing a lot of Googling because I find myself wanting to know more about the actual work these people did. I'm familiar with the composers he's written about and a lot of the writers but the psychologists and poets are a little less known to me. In my side research the other day I discovered this poem by W.H. Auden. It's called The More Loving One.

Looking up at the stars, I know quite well

That, for all they care, I can go to hell

But on earth indifference is the least

We have to dread from man or beast

How should we like it were stars to burn

With a passion for us, we could not return?

If equal affection cannot be,

Let the more loving one be me.

Admirer as I think I am

Of stars that do not give a damn,

I cannot, now I see them, say

I missed one terribly all day.

Were all stars to disappear or die,

I should learn to look at an empty sky

And feel its total dark sublime,

Though this might take me a little time.

I love this poem. It's simple but so emotionally honest. If equal affection cannot be, let the more loving one be me. How beautifully self-sacrificial to prefer the giving end of unrequited love, to have heartbreak rather than cause it.

Anyway, I highly recommend the book. It's gotten me thinking about my own habits as a creative person. Mostly though, it's sort of like peeking into someone's window which is something I find endlessly intriguing. We've talked about my nosiness before, right?

Painting by Emily Jeffords

Life These Days, And Hello Again!

This poor Something Ivory has gotten a bit of neglect these last few weeks but today is Friday! (I always feel inspired on Fridays.) And I wanted to check in and post a little update.

First of all, though I never thought I'd be one of the many writers/bloggers to ever say this, I think that Instagram has begun to replace my blogging in some ways. I almost always spend more time crafting the caption than taking the photo and I see it as a chance to tell a little story. When we were abroad our friend Jim asked midway through the trip if I'd blogged yet. I answered no, I hadn't, but that I'd started to think of each of my Instagram photos/captions as a mini blog post. Not everyone uses Instagram like this but I love trying to thoughtfully share real glimpses of my life this way.

Even though I haven't been blogging I've still been writing privately. To be frank, there is something in this season of my life that I'm struggling with deeply and that is too personal to blog about (for me, anyway). But there are many days where I wake up and can't imagine writing about anything else. So I write privately.

In better, kinder news, my life as a business owner/freelance artist/teacher/musician has taken off! I now have close to 15 students in my private studio. I've developed friendships and partnerships with several other young professional musicians and I can tell you, few things are more fun than playing music with your friends. And then gabbing about life over lunch. The best.

A few months ago I was asked to take on the role as vice president of the Charlottesville Music Teacher's Association which made every introverted muscle in my body tense up. I took a day to think about it, then gulped and said yes and it is now my job to plan each of our group's monthly programs for the whole year. We're going to Skype with an expert on performance anxiety, I've invited a soprano and a pianist from UVA to perform some German art songs for us and one of our own members will run a discussion on studio policies and practices. (Among many other things!) This has been enormously fun for me and a huge honor. And time-consuming! More writing emails and less writing blog posts. :)

This time in my life–personally and professionally and inwardly and outwardly–is one of change and growth. It's one where I feel quite proud of myself at times and at other times feel completely raw and vulnerable. Sometimes I'm confident and other times I doubt myself. I have made several incredible, close friends here in the last year. I'm learning how to do adult female friendship well and I'm so thankful for this gift. I feel fulfilled by my musical life and so sure that I'm in the right line of work. I also have realized that we are very much not in control and that we must take every blessing and every hardship alike to God. My prayer life has deepened necessarily.

I suppose what I'm trying to say is that life these days is both harder than ever and more beautiful than ever. Is it possible that both could be true? I'm learning that yes, I think so. There's a rare sort of beauty that is found in suffering. And everything else, it's made lovelier by comparison. Glory be to God for this not-so-small miracle.

Japanese Silk

There was really only one thing that I would have been heartbroken to leave Japan without and that was a silk made-in-Japan kimono. Before the trip my mom and I both did a little research on the best place to find them and we decided that I didn't actually want a kimono at all–what I wanted was a yukata. A kimono is a very formal, very expensive, very hard-to-put-on-by-yourself piece of clothing. But a yukata, a simple robe that is made in both cotton and silk, in indoor and outdoor versions, is something I knew I would use and love for years and years.

We read that the best place to find good quality silk yukata (when in Japan, always go for the silk) was in high-end department stores. So one evening I took a cab to Takashimaya just before closing time before meeting the rest of our group for a late dinner. The "kimono floor" where I was instructed to go was magical. Wooden and paper fans and exquisite hair clips and the most luscious fabric samples surrounded me as I stepped off the escalator.

I decided on an indoor yukata as opposed to an outdoor one, something intimate and lovely to slip into after a bath or wear on lazy Saturday mornings before getting dressed. I tried on short and long ones but think I knew the whole time that the long, almost floor-length ones were for me. The saleswoman helped me into pale pastels with dark brushstrokes and a cream-colored one that I thought might be it.

But then I put on an orange-red yukata, that color that is so Japanese, with the most gorgeous white and gold and blue flowers and cherry blossoms pattern. (The photos don't do it justice.) I looked in the mirror and knew. There was no other yukata for me. This was the one. It made me feel elegant and lovely and isn't that the point of a luxury robe, how it makes you feel? The beauty of buying a piece of clothing that's meant to be worn only around the house is that its purpose is purely to make you feel good and soft and pretty. (And maybe to make your husband think that too.)

Since I was alone this first time around I was excited to bring Val back with me a few days later because she wanted to bring a yukata home too. (Side note: I was so touched when, this second time on the kimono floor in Kyoto's Takashimaya, Brahms' Op. 118 No. 2–which I consider my signature piece–was playing overhead.) She decided on a knee-length yukata in a fresh mint shade that is to-die-for against her dark hair and light skin.

I had thought I'd save my yukata to wear only every so often but I've been slinking into it almost every night. The older I get the less I believe in "saving" our nicest things for special occasions, but instead using them and loving them in regular everyday life. As evening looms I get excited to put it on and lay in bed with a book and I'm not sure I own anything (aside from my wedding dress) that makes me feel more beautiful.

p.s. Val and I decided that kimono just sounds better than yukata so that's what we call our robes, even though we know it isn't really accurate. :)

Never Stop Noticing

Isn't it lovely when life overwhelms you with joy over the simplest things? The other day I was making a chickpea salad, a new-to-me food that I can't believe I haven't thought to make before because chickpeas and I are very close friends. I whirred up the chickpeas and olives and tomatoes and red onion and jalapeños and stirred in a squeeze of lime juice and olive oil and kosher salt and chopped basil from the porch and it was all so fragrant and heavenly.

As slices of sourdough bread toasted I ran into our bedroom to grab my book to read while I ate and the sight of our tidy bedroom, which I'd spent some time cleaning and organizing earlier that day, made me ridiculously glad. There are few things as satisfying as a clean bedroom.

Back to the kitchen I skipped with a smile to assemble the chickpea salad sandwich. My first bite, that combination of warm, crisp slightly sour bread, slathers of mayo, earthy garden lettuce and the incredible flavor of chickpeas mixed with herbs and onions and spice almost made me fall over. It was so. good.

We can find joy anywhere. In fresh sheets, in warm baths, in powerful thunderstorms, in that first sip of cold lemonade, in a hug, in a pretty bike spotted on the street, in a line from a poem. We just can't allow ourselves to stop noticing it.

Happy Friday, friends!

Inspired By Japan!

Hi, friends! I've been excited to share bits and pieces of our trip to Japan with you but it's hard to know where to begin. (I've also been fighting the jet lag demons ever since we got home. Ugh!) This trip has left my eyes wide open and my heart expanded and so much of me is inspired by what we saw, learned, witnessed, noticed, absorbed. Here are some of my favorites.

The natural respect

There is an amazing culture of respect in Japan that seems to permeate all relationships. Family relationships, friend to friend, shopkeeper to customer. Everybody bows hello, thank you, goodbye. Even two young friends parting ways in the subway after a night out will give a little bow to each other as they say goodnight. We found it to be so sweet and dignified. All of us loved this tradition.

The design
Oh, Japanese design. It's lovely. It's simple. It's infused into the most everyday facts of life. Everywhere we went I noticed this careful, thoughtful focus on beauty and aesthetics. Spaces were uncluttered, walls were white, little details never went by the wayside. In our hotel room in Kyoto the hair dryer was stored in a cream-colored linen bag with the word "DRYER" hand-stamped on the edge in inky block letters. The tiniest, most subtle thing. At our gate in the Osaka airport, there were rows and rows of kelly green seats with light-colored wooden frames and the notes of a piano trio murmured over the sound system. A garage door near our Airbnb in Tokyo was made of wood, not vinyl, and I never knew a garage door could be so gorgeous. These things are heart-swelling for someone like me. I'm so inspired by this intentional creation of loveliness, by the elevation of the mundane, by the attention to simple beauties.

The cleanliness and general treatment of public property
Japan is a clean place. On the streets, in public restrooms, in the backs of taxi cabs, in the subways. All clean! It was marvelous. We realized partway through the trip that this has less to do with fastidious janitors or a well-paid city cleaning staff and more to do with maintenance by regular people and a respect for what is shared. The tip-top bathrooms were obviously most noticeable to us. People don't trash public restrooms in Japan. If anything, they will leave a bathroom stall cleaner than it was when they walked in. Some bathrooms even had wall-mounted cleaning spray for the seat. Brilliant!

The onsen culture
This was a girls activity that my friend and I did together while the boys headed back to the hotel. An onsen is a Japanese spa where women and men go (separately, usually) to bathe. There were two hot indoor pools, one hot outdoor pool that was dyed red for some reason and one cold pool (which was a godsend). All done in the nude! This part took a little getting-used-to but I think we both found the atmosphere to be quite liberating. There's nothing showy about it and there's also nothing fearful. Body image does not have a place in the onsen. You are there to nourish your body, physically and spiritually, not to criticize it or flaunt it or feel ashamed of it. You soak, pamper, relax, treat. It's like a little thank-you to your body for working so hard. It was neat to get over our natural modesty for a moment and remember that bodies are just bodies. They're functional and biological and they're beautiful no matter what precisely they look like. The Japanese women barely gave us a glance and absolutely none of them (and many of them were quite a bit older than us) were self-conscious about walking around with nothing to hide behind. Really inspiring.

...and SO much more. I loved Japan. I adored it. I didn't want to leave and I definitely want to someday go back.

Of course, having the best travel buddies in the world didn't hurt. Post on that to come!

Packing For Japan: Fun (And Tiny) Travel Essentials

In an effort to continue my mission to pack leanly for this trip I'm not bringing many things that are not clothes. And the non-clothing items I am allowing myself have to be sufficiently small and light for me to put them on the list.

Over the last few weeks I've been hunting down mini versions of certain beauty products on Amazon and filling little 3 oz bottles with face wash and sunscreen. I finally caved and bought a Kindle in the smallest size instead of lugging along 2-3 books for the plane and I'm obsessed with it (so glad my mom encouraged me on that one). My mother-in-law gave me a gorgeous clutch as an early birthday gift that will be perfect for carrying just a few things to dinner or a night out. Basically everything I'm bringing is tiny. It's adorable.

Here are a few of the non-clothes/non-shoes travel essentials that to me, are worth toting halfway across the world.

My favorite rosy red lipstick that can dress up any outfit and make me feel beautiful and fresh and put-together with a single swipe.

A shot of Dream Water, recommended by a friend who always looks out for me, to help us catch a few hours of sleep as we fly from Toronto to Tokyo.

A tiny pot of the best intensive moisturizer, which I will be slathering on my face before each flight to combat dry airplane air.

Evian facial spray for more moisture for my finicky skin and the welcome jolt of energy that comes from spraying a jet-lagged face with a mist of cool water.

A small tube of the only hand sanitizer I'll use because unlike most, it's moisturizing and doesn't have a horrible alcohol or synthetic smell.

My new Kindle, loaded with a few good books I can't wait to dig into along with a Dictionary of Japanese Food to help us navigate the eating part of our adventure.

(Not pictured: a regular toothbrush instead of my bulky electric one. I'm serious about this minimalist thing!)

9 days to go!!!!!

Packing For Japan: Shoes And One Pretty Accessory

As I said in my last post I'm bringing only two pairs of shoes for our 9-day trip. This is not a large number of shoes, am I right ladies? So I had to make sure they were both super comfortable and as versatile as possible.

Obviously I needed a pair of lace-up sneakers for all the walking we'll be doing. These Born shoes are a few years old and I got them when I was on the hunt for shoes for Europe (back when we thought that's where we would be honeymooning). It's getting easier to find sneaks that are cute and can be worn with dresses and skirts in addition to jeans (love these from Everlane) but it's still a tall order. I love the "oxford" style of these which gives them a menswear-inspired look but the fact that they're light-colored keeps them feminine and pretty. Plus the arch support and padded soles means I can wear them all day. (I bought soft no-show socks to wear with them.)

(Here's a photo from my Instagram of me wearing them, and also the olive pants I'm packing.)

For lighter walking days, evenings when we are getting a bit more dressed up, and for temple-hopping which will require us to be constantly slipping our shoes on and off, I have these Franco Sarto leather flats. You know how some ballet flats barely cover the top of your foot at all, just your toes? I love these shoes because they come up a bit higher on the foot which makes them ten times more comfortable. I also popped these on the inside heel and now they feel just like slippers. 

In Japan there's a lot of taking off of shoes that happens, and not just in the temples. Apparently a lot of restaurants require it too and bare feet are a no-no. (A friend of mine warned me of this—thanks M!) So I plan to keep a pair of socks in my purse at all times so that I'll never be caught barefooted. Phew! Potential cultural crisis and general awkwardness averted.

I don't plan to bring any jewelry except for my wedding rings and the gold studs I always wear, so I'm counting on this scarf to lend me a little flair when I need it. It can be wrapped around my shoulders if I'm chilly or tied around my neck and it looks good with everything I'm bringing. Japan is a country of vibrant colors and I figured I needed something bright and floral to complement my neutrals. This will do the trick!

I'm almost done with these packing posts. I hope they've been fun/informative/helpful or that at the very least they've indulged your nosy side. (I love seeing how people pack for trips!) I've got one or two more posts planned, so stay tuned and thanks for reading.

Packing for Japan: Pants/Skirts/Dresses

I've heard from several sources (friends, travel guides, websites) that you should pack a bit on the dressier side for Japan. One friend told me she didn't seen anyone wearing blue jeans when she was in Japan last year and advised on nicer pants and skirts and dresses instead. A dressier society is something I can get on board with so I'm happily taking her suggestion!

Here's what I'm packing for bottoms: two pairs of pants, a pair of nice shorts, one casual day dress, and one fancy black skirt.

I've never had a pair of pants that fits better than these Paige jeans. My sister-in-law found them at T.J.Maxx and they were too long on her so she gave them to me! Best gift ever. These are the kind of stretch jeans that don't lose their shape even after multiple times wearing them which is great for travel. They will go with all of the tops I'm bringing (perks of neutral colors!) and I can roll up the bottoms if it gets hot. I think I'll wear them on the plane too. They're as comfy as leggings.

These Gap olive khaki pants hit mid-calf and have sort of a tomboyish fit. They make me feel a little rugged-chic, you know? If Japan had safaris, these are the pants I'd wear.

These shorts (with pockets!) are not your typical pair of shorts. They're a looser cut and almost look like a skirt. One day we're hiking up a mountain to see a castle and I'll probably wear these so that I don't completely melt.

This is the one dress I'm bringing--it's a casual daytime shift dress that's made of a nice sweatshirt type material. Not everyone likes to wear shapeless dresses but for my fairly straight figure it's one of my favorite looks. This one also has pockets and looks cute with the sneakers I'm bringing. (The dyed pattern sort of reminds me of Ace and Jig's prints--partly why I got it!)

I'm so excited about this high-waisted knee-length black skirt. My sweet mother-in-law got it for me when we were shopping at Banana Republic together. This is my replacement for a little black dress and to me, this is better--I can wear it with any of the tops I'm bringing (tucked in or tied in a knot to the side), swipe on some red lipstick, and instantly I'm ready for dinner or a night on the town. It's pretty and light and I feel good in it. This is my only "fancy" piece of clothing but I know I won't get tired of wearing it and changing my look a little bit each time.

This is it for clothing! I made one small addition to my tops pile--a thin long-sleeved emerald green shirt I'd been intending to pack but forgot about because it was in the laundry--so my total clothing count is now at 11 and it's staying at 11. I actually put everything in the bag I'm bringing and it was shocking how light it was and how much leftover room I had. Hooray!

Next up, shoes. (This one is a record for me. I'm bringing only TWO pairs.)